Give support

Staff at the Sexual Violence Resource Centre are available to answer your questions on how to best support someone who has disclosed to you. Please feel free to contact their confidential services at svrc@umanitoba.ca or 204-474-6562.

2. Listen and believe

Often when someone experiences sexual violence, they fear that they will not be believed. During a disclosure, make sure you validate and acknowledge the person’s experience by being empathetic and non-judgemental. People who have experienced sexual violence often blame themselves for what happened. No matter what the person did or did not do, sexual violence is never the fault of the person who experienced it.

Additionally, do more listening than talking. Listening effectively, without judgment, is the best way to seek to understand what has happened, and to help the person in the way that they need. Be mindful of your choice of words, tone of voice, and body language, and make sure that the person disclosing is the one who is in charge of the conversation.

3. Ask what they need

Remember that the person who has experienced sexual violence is the only one who knows what is best for them. Rather than telling them what you think they should do, empower them to make their own decisions and help them explore their options.

4. Connect to Supports

Offer supports they have expressed they want to access and assist them in contacting those resources or offer to be with them when they do it.

It is a good idea to always offer the Klinic Sexual Assault Crisis Line to someone, as it is a 24/7 supportive service.

Share with the individual that supports and options are available to them. In addition to the UM Sexual Violence Resource Centre, there are also a number of supports listed on the Get support page.

It’s important to know that certain treatments, such as emergency contraception and certain infection prophylaxis are time limited. Emergency contraception is available up to 120 hours after an assault. Other medications to prevent sexually transmitted infections can be given up to 72 hours to two weeks after the assault. Time frames vary according to infection, so it is best to seek treatment as soon as possible. 

If they have recently been assaulted and wish to receive medical care or have forensic evidence collected for a police investigation they should do so as soon as possible.

5. Check in

If appropriate, it can be a good thing to check in with the person following the initial disclosure to ensure they have received the support they need, although this may not be helpful or possible in every case.

Responding to a disclosure is difficult and can take a serious toll on you. Make sure to check in with yourself and take care of your well-being.

• Connect with counselling and wellness resources
  • Faculty and staff: through the Employee & Family Assistance Program
  • Students: through the Student Counselling Centre.
  • You can also connect with your union for support if you are a unionized employee or student.
• Meet with an Elder
• Debrief with a supervisor, family member, friend or other support person in your life
• Connect with supports off campus, such as a counsellor or other support person
• Take time for self-care

Remember: you are always able to debrief the situation – without compromising confidentiality – by leaving out any identifying details.